Dates

As much as I'd love to write about how well I distracted myself from anxiety today, sadly I cannot do that- I simply slept the day away again which is for me the easiest way to cope. Not the most realistic but today it worked. But tonight I'm thinking of three upcoming dates: March 22, 23 and April 15. 
Hair. Piercing. Tattoo. Yaaaahhhh!! I SERIOUSLY think I'm going with my gut and getting purple in my hair :D. Then, double nose. Then, color in my flowers! I've decided I want certain colours I can see in my mind-deep red, darker purple, deep blues..it will be gorgeous I already know it. Plus I'm going up with one sister for sure and hopefully my other!! Little road trip with the 3 of us would be so good for us. That's what I need to keep me going..time with people. Time talking and bouncing things off people who listen and have life experience to help little naive me. 
ANYWAY queen of tangents, time for bed. Monday comes quickly. Here's to another 5 day work week coming up and never knowing what that means! 

Anxiety Girl

Anxiety: how 10am on a Sunday feels like the most important moment of your life that's been building up for days. But is it? Or is my mind just going toooo fast to be able to digest any of it. Who knows but it's critical for me to get distracting myself today, cause constantly looking at Instagram is not making time go by any faster.

Love Yourself?

Can I first say I'm obsessed with the loveyourself selfie thing going around!? I've seen so many pictures of girls who are usually caked with makeup and actually look gorgeous without! So crazy what societal pressure causes. Which brings me to me. I thought Id sneak under the radar and avoid a nomination for this, but I thought wrong. Now it's my turn to post one and guess what. I don't know if I can do it. As someone who struggles 9 minutes out of 10 with low self esteem, this thought is terrifying. NOW as someone who helps people with self esteem, I'd be SO excited at this opportunity with a client because this is the BEST exposure. Most terrifying, but that usually means most effective. Maybe for me to work on my self esteem, putting my bare face out there for the world to see is what I need. Or maybe I'm just trying to pump myself up for something that there's a good chance I can't do. 

Rando McRandy

Ahhh laying in bed trying to think of what to write tonight. I need to write about something but my thoughts are too fast to organize which thing I need to really talk about. Maybe I'll really just be as random as I feel right now. 
Firstly. My fish at work, Charlie. It's a beta fish, I don't know if it's a boy or girl or if fish really have gender, not the point of why I'm talking about him/her anyways. I SWEAR that my fish knows when I am in that room and especially when I sit in the chair beside the bowl. Its so weird to have a connection with something like a fish. Who woulda thunk. 
Almost lastly. Being a pestering bug. I've sent a message to a lady asking if she'd like to meet up and talk about some business stuff. She immediately replied that she was interested so I offered some dates. She has not responded. Whaaat the effff do i do now? Send her another message asking if she's changed her mind? If this week works? If we could do a quick coffee instead? I have noOOooO idea. 
Finally, diaper cakes. I find that immediately after I leave work (and lots of times during, let's be honest) my brain switches to cakes. I really enjoy making them. The problem now is that I have a house full of diaper cakes. I think I could squeeze maybe one more in, since I'm dropping one off tomorrow, but otherwise it's ridiculous! I need to get selling more but I don't know how to go about it.. I'll just keep at advertising I suppose and hope that word goes around! 
To end this most random post of all, a picture of my most favourite snack of all time. 

To hue or not to hue

The great debate continues-colour or no colour!?  I drew both of these and both looked good without colour, but after adding  it, they undeniably look better with colour and I'm not even good at filling colour in! The reason I have this debate is because of tattoos... I've always thought I wanted black and grey only, but since getting the outline of my flowers I've had to really think of the possibility  of colour.  Who knows what I'll come up with, I'm the worst with decisions. 

Busy ness

Can't complain of boredom anymore. Picked up the pencil and have enjoyed creating weird little drawings. Well, free-handing some image I find online is a better way to say it. 

Whiner

After a long day of whining that I'm "sooo bored" and sleeping part of the day away, I've tried hard tonight to shift my thinking. I've read little inspirational things on Pinterest saying that someone would be happy to be where you are, or what you have now is what you once wanted. It's hard for me to get and stay in that mindset but it really is true. I can sit and hate everything about where I am and what I have, or I can realize that I'm beyond blessed for all I have around me. Sure I may hate parts of my job, but isn't that part of life? Sure my home life has issues, but whose doesn't? I have to continue doing perspective-checks with myself now and then..maybe daily until it becomes habit.
On a side note, in my boredom today I became a little crafty and decorated myself. Sharpies are the best :)