I didn't picture starting this blog like this. Unprepared, unsure, unguided. So many unknowns. But maybe that's why this is the best time. Even as I begin to go on, I type, backspace, type, backspace. So insecure everything I write. I live inside a comfort zone that has served to harm me immeasurably. I'm sick of it...so I'm putting this out there! I'm putting myself out there for the world to see - well, maybe not quite - but I'm going outside of my stupid comfort zone once and for all. To do that, I've gotta describe who I am.
To the outsider..I am a shy social worker, a spoiled youngest sister, a 'cool' auntie, a caring friend, a girlfriend, and a lover of animals (especially my own). In my ideal world, I'm creative, strong, easygoing, confident, assured and loving. In reality, I am insecure, anxious, stubborn and selfish. It may sound harsh, but I'm quickly learning that the world is harsh and that critical self-evaluation is necessary now and then. I hope I can become as in-tune with my positive qualities as I am my negative, but that's something I'll continually work on. So what's the point of this blog anyways?
Maybe it's to vent about adventures in mental health-both working and personal. Maybe it's to fill my time. Maybe it's to normalize one other persons thoughts. Maybe it's to balance reality with irrational thinking. Maybe it's to set goals and motivate myself. At this point, anyone's guess is as good as mine. But right now it's 5am and maybe I'm in a state of delirium but I'm excited to be starting this new chapter in my life.
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