I can feel the pressure

Life. We get one chance at this exact life. So much pressure to get it right. I'm not going to get into past or future lives, nows not the time. Tonight I'm only thinking about this exact life. I struggle with making decisions more than anyone I know. Ask me where I want to eat supper and it's like you're asking me to choose between my parents. Every possibility runs through my brain as if it's a life or death decision and I usually give up and let someone else pick. So now imagine me making life decisions. Ha. It's seriously a joke. I weigh out options constantly and I never seem to get any further ahead. I contemplate what I want and where I want to go and I come up with everything. I want this but I also want that. I want one thing while I want the exact opposite. Talk about wanting your cake and eating it too. It's so much more confusing than I think anyone truly understands. I try so hard to just live in the moment, but I don't know if that's fully allowing me to see the long term future. Does any of this even make any sense? Maybe not but that's the beauty about expressing my thoughts. Sometimes they won't make sense but I do have anonymous readers who must get something from reading along. Re reading this post has my heart and head hurting and my anxiety increasing. And now it's time to lay in bed alone with my thoughts...puurrrfect.